Anxious Introverts: Do we fit in PR?
You know those memes that went around a few years ago, complaining about that person who steals your joke, says it louder and takes all the credit?
Photo by Larm Rmah via unsplash.com
That was me. I was the one complaining. I would randomly mutter things to myself in high school when I was annoyed at something, or a random sassy comment after someone’s statement that I didn’t fully intend for them to hear. Someone beside me would think, “ha! That’s funny,” then say it out loud and everyone would laugh, and that person would take all the credit. I would literally stare at them in disbelief, surprised at such blatant betrayal. There’d be nothing I could do about it, though. Even if the person was like “Oh by the way, Natalia said that,” it wouldn’t be the same because I wasn’t the one who said it aloud.
I’ve been granting control to other people all my life. Control over my voice and how I want my message to come across. I am deathly afraid of public speaking, or of any setting where more than three people are hearing me speak. Formal settings, especially, cripple me disastrously. I could tirelessly prepare for a presentation, structuring my thoughts exactly as I would want them to come across, and when I get to point where I need to say them out loud, I forget everything. I am a stuttering, blabbering mess, anxiously searching for the brain-file where I carefully stored my presentation. And it refuses to open.
Theoretically, I’d probably make a great public speaker. Introverts in general are perpetual thinkers, and introverts like myself are always breaking down patterns and analyzing both practical and abstract ideas. I am never not thinking of something, and when I finally decide to share my opinion on whatever is going on, it’s because it’s already been deeply processed and articulated. So, theoretically, this would make for great presentation prep and delivery. But in practice, the anxiety of the moment wipes everything out, and all my previous thinking and preparation is deleted.
Sara Marsh shares a bit about her journey through a short, five-minute video about being an introverted communication major.
This has been my biggest challenge in college, seeing as communication majors need to be able to present and share ideas with larger groups of people. I’ve spent the majority of my life dodging speaking roles, and even when I was in a job that required a presentation to the general student body, I’d have another person speak on my behalf. While it eased my anxieties, I’d always wished I was capable of delivering the message myself. No one else could tell your message and your ideas quite like you can, and granting them control of your voice and message grants them control of how they choose to deliver it, even if you wished it could have come across differently. Even if everyone in the room knows the message is from you, you’re not the one saying it aloud.
When I’d detail my public speaking anxiety to others in my field, they’d always tell me I needed to get over myself in order to succeed in my endeavors. Most communication and public relations majors have managed to attain the confidence to find their voice, and I was—and am—still finding it.
Do I belong in this field? Is this the right place for me?
I’m still figuring that out. In the meantime, I know that the strengths I’ve attained because of my anxiety are ones I can definitely contribute to my field. My anxiety has taught me empathy, to understand the needs of others before they vocalize them. It’s also taught me how certain people need to be spoken to, the messages they need to feel secure, and to be genuinely transparent and open about my intentions.